he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
