Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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