look no pants
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
