if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
