is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
