xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
