I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
