You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
