That's intense
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
