she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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