and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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