I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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