Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
