im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
