Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
