He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
