would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
