You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
