What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize