That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
