Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
