Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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