Whoa Z and x make the same sound
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
