Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize