Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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