gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
