I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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