I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Drunk is not a location!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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