The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
