You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
