two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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