You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
