No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
