I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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