South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
