Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
