Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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