Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Pants are for mortals
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
