I wish I could teleport
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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