My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize