even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
