I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize