South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
