Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Where is the hickey?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
