I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize