My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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