it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
