If that was your dad, he is hot
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize