im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
