Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
