fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Terrible idea I love it
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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