you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
