i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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