I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
