i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
