Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
