Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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