I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
