I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
