I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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