Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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