I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
