that's an acceptable place to lick
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize