what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
