Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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