I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
