So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
