coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
