Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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